Changes

It's weird going from a girl that can do everything herself with few people in her life to letting someone in entirely. For the past two and half years, almost, I have relied entirely on my friends and mostly myself to do everything that a loving, healthy relationship should do. My other girlfriends and friends have been the main support system in my life. So now I have to make this transition from someone that is completely self-reliant to someone who is caring? weird.
The main point I'm trying to say is I know its going to be difficult.
I thought it was going to be difficult.
I don't know what it is, maybe the perfect union of person, place, and time that is making this so easy for me. I'm trying to get rid of all my old vices and put myself into a position where I am vulnerable to all the attachments of caring for someone. You get so used to being by yourself you almost forget what its like to be with someone.
However, the point of this entry is not to talk about this but to talk about just how when you think that everything is awful and you have quit trying to make these new relationships, someone comes around that makes you want to be a little bit better and reminds you that half the point of life is being surrounded by people that make you happy. And I can truthfully say that the past week has been what I want the future to feel like. Super fucking promising.
I really haven't smiled this much in a very long time.