Do we ever change?

The Godspeed Lp Swimmer's Ear is unstoppable. The first song, "April", has a refrain that is particularly memorable. "Brick by brick I'll build this wall. Don't worry, you'll find me". I mean, can you really not think of a time in your life where this rang so very true for you? I find that this is my mantra for relationships of all sorts-I never am really the type to easily reveal myself or get excited. I am a cynic by all means, especially when it comes to the human species. I am more likely to find your faults before your purities, and I am more likely to judge you so severely on the first that it is impossible for me to think any other way. This is not healthy. I am perfectly aware. But that's not the point. The point is this-you know the mark of a solid musician when the lyrics remind you so vividly of something in particular, and the lyricist doesn't even know you, nor will ever know you.
I think something that attracted me to hardcore was that it felt like most of the words related to a certain part of my life without ever having any coherent connection to me. Most of the music I listen to I feel has resonated within me and shaped my outlook in some way. I mean, this is the case with most of the literature and friends I surround myself with. You are a victim of what is around you. There is no argument against the fact that you are what/who you like.
Lately I have been feeling this great gap between myself and the outside world. I stopped caring about impressions and outward beauty. Instead, lately I have been focusing on what feels good for me at the moment and what is attractive to me. In a sense this philosophy, when innately recognized, is called "self-centeredness" but in reality this is just something that every person should save time for-the self. This may seem like a wandering far from normalcy for me but it isn't. I recently came to the conclusion that no one is going to help me, no person or being or anything imaginable, is ever going to help me become anything. But none of that matters, all I need is me...for the most part.

"As on a heap of rubbish cast upon the highway the lily will grow full of sweet perfume and delight..."
-The Dhammapada on Flowers

With that, I give you Godspeed's Swimmer's Ear.



http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=f3b510057ffe74f05bf1f12f1ff3f30a477dc68d462745205621d66e282a0ee8

Tracklist.
1. April
2. Written Word
3. Flume
4. Daylight Saving Time
5. Swimmer's Ear
6. Nothing Things

Six short, sweet songs.

-L

Field of Darkness

New semester began today. I've already altered my schedule to switch myself out of the "Classical Literature" class where within the first half hour I checked my phone 7 times.
My schedule includes:
1. The Comics-a class on the place of the comic book/graphic novel in literature today. I tried really hard not to be judgemental in today's class, but someone knew every single copy of the Watchmen ever published and what the differences were.
Okay, maybe I could do that for certain records.
And clothing.
And I daresay certain books.
Alright, I'm done. Anyway, we're reading this book by Scott McCloud (DC comics mastermind) about the history/theory of comic books. I thought it was gonna be a bust, but its actually really neat. Its put together like a comic book but reads like a textbook.

2. Design II-I'm taking this class with graphic design majors and half the class is done on photoshop. Should be interesting.
3. American Literature-one of my favorite teachers is teaching this. We're reading the classics, mostly works I've already read. I'm excited for this class though, the professor always has these interesting, sarcastic viewpoints on everything. Today we talked for a while about me transferring and she gave me some really solid advice, err, push out the door.
4. Readings in Poetry-my teacher for this class is out of her mind. Loves it.

Just got back from a night of hanging and I am really looking forward to crawling into bed with my books. Tomorrow I have 1,000,001 things to do. I decided I am going to start involving myself more in activities. I was going to start boxing a while ago as a way to get rid of the aggression but maybe that is not the key at all. So I think I am going to try taking ballet or something that takes time. When I was 10 or 11 I took ballet and the teacher asked me not to come back because she said I didn't take it seriously enough. I'm also going to start taking yoga again and try and become a better person from the inside out. I also think I might have had it with meat. I don't know, something doesn't feel right about me eating it.

I'm working on some mixtapes for uploading, keep your eyes peeled.

For right now I'm listening to:
New Found Glory-Not Without a Fight
Cat Power-Jukebox
Swiz-No Punches Pulled
Dag Nasty-Can I Say

Edit: http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/wherethewildthingsare/

Buddha, Ian, Morissey, & Walter

I remember reading this article in my high school cafeteria. Do your homework, please.

The Buddha took a piece of red chalk and drew a circle, saying: "When men, though unaware of it, must meet again someday, they may follow diverging paths to the given day when, ineluctably, they will be reunited within the red circle." -- Rama Krishna

http://www.spin.com/articles/reunited-states

Help

I need one of those cleansings from the inside out. I woke up this morning and realized I may be an awful person. I need to turn this around. Trying to regain that PMA.

Wants and Needs

Everything looks so delicious in the Spring.
I'm in this fake, bad mood right now. It's fake because I don't want to be in a bad mood...so it's a fake bad mood.
The other day I had this revelation that I'm just going to kind of give up most of the things in life, and focus on a few things that mean the most to me; my career, my 4/5 friends, my family, etc. I'm just not really a fan of inconsistency/ unexpected changes.
I have included some ideas for good living...
1. Don't sleep in more than two days a week-it makes sleeping in worth it.
2. Go out for brunch once a week, and yes it is brunch even if it is at two.
3. The second your not getting what you want out of something, speak up.
4. Visit your family.
5. Make necessary career changes whenever the need be.
6. Never do anything your not 110% into
7. Eat whatever you want, whenever you want
Those are some ideas.
Also, I put a counter up on this blog to see just how many people are checking it out and it turns out there are lots but never any comments. Step the comment game up? Yes no maybe?
Maybe next time I'll be more collected with this....or I can actually know if I'm in a good mood or a bad mood. Who knows. ever.

There it is

Some pictures from CZW.

And...

ONE MORE...

Be with you soon.....
-L

FYi

Here is a little note I found on a stickie on my desktop from the honorable bobby wilson.

hey lily!
i meant to type in youtube
and somehow it came up as porn
so im sorry
it was i, not dan

-bobman

I love my friends.
Also, I have determined my future career. I'm going to open an art gallery/bakery and learn how to make the world's best buttercream icing. Than I can employ all my friends. Seriously, good cupcakes make the world better.



Lately, I've been addicted to watching Arrested Development. Maybe it's because Jason Batemen
A.
looks just like...
Ryan Adams!!!!
B.
oh boy oh boy! CZW tonight. What a wholesome, lovely life I lead.

Everyone's at it.

I think being an English major has ruined something I love. I don't want to scrutinize Faulkner, I want to enjoy it.
The great think about my future (fingers crossed) major is I will be forever scrutinizing something that is totally capable of being debated and is made for that purpose. Yesterday I toured Moore to look at the Curatorial Studies program and I'm really into it. I never really saw myself at Moore for a few reasons. However, I think that unless I find that something I absolutely love at school I'm not going to be able to do as well as I'm supposed to. You know what I'm saying?
Anyway, I'm in kind of a yes/no mood. Really looking forward to spring break, really stressing about money, really cold.
I would like a buttercream cupcake from Flying Monkey or Nik's work please.
Oooh!

Xoxoxoxoxox,
L

Progress

I'm super excited for our Zine. We've got some really awesome interviews set up....not giving anything awesome away yet. Let's just say I can cross two dream interviews off of my list. I would like to thank...Mischa Barton.
Anyway, sitting in Art of India class, about to jump out of my skin, so excited. Going to a cart to get food. Interview tomorrow at a new school, really excited. I gave Dan a cold, sorry babe, and I'm going to surprise him tonight and bring him home some soup from work.
Honestly, I'm really excited to sit down with Bob and Jannes. I feel like I'm going to roll-on-the-floor laughing. We're doing word associations.
Dan and I have such a good dynamic going...
And...I'm super excited about some of the places Devon and I are looking at.
One of my friends recently said to me that they think that it's weird that me dating someone made me want to stay in Philadelphia. Contrary to popular belief, that is not true. I love everything about this city, literally... everything. And I don't really feel like uprooting myself from something its taken me 19 years to get right...something called self-fulfillment. Maybe I'll look back and regret things, but I can't regret anything anymore than all of the things I have already done. Anyway, these things only matter as much as your worry about them.
Spring is always wonderful, because it paves the way for new beginnings. Woof.

To new beginnings, good friends, and SPRING BREAK '09. Take off dem clothes.

My Life

I'm a normally semi-calm person. I am in the worst mood right now. I swear if I had to have a real conversation with someone it would be the end of me.
Let's see.
This weekend was pretty decent, I ended up having to punch some girl cause she was being disrespectful.
Um
I'm interviewing someone for the zine that I'm super excited about. It means a lot to me.
Um
I'm excited to move again.
Um
I have an interview at Moore on Wednesday.
Um
I'm going to shower and eat and pretend that I don't have the headache of a lifetime.

ZINENATION

So something I've been talking about forever....DOING A zine.
So I'm going to. Dan is my co-partner on this endeavor. I literally have been talking about this forever, and I'm finally going to do it. I have some really cool interviews lined up and I'm super excited.
It's going to be called "The Fear". Yes, named after a Lily Allen song. Because if Dan would have his way it would be named after a fictional part of Zelda. He is already threatening to put the triforce (and yes, I unfortunately know what that is) all over the Zine.
I'm really excited. This is something to get excited about. I love reasons to get excited.

MMMMMMMHHHMMMMM. Wear the Chanel. You go girl.

My Current Obsessions:

1. Best time I've ever seen Ryan Adams....

2.
'Nuff said
3. A perfect investment-the perfect flat

4. One of my top records-a must

5.
Um, that's all for right now. Bobby, Youreyeah, Danny, and I are all sitting in the living room as per usual.
SEE ya.